Part 3: I know I can but I won't because I want to keep a low profile.
Faculty Meeting? Right here? Well, Don't mind if I do.
Welcome back, again.
Come in for a cup of tea, sit with me, and let's chat.
I’m building quite a selection of tea from around the world to offer you when we finally meet in person again. Scrantonia Friends, if you’ve not purchased an original hand spun clay mug from Wonderstone Gallery at Dunmore Corners, then get yourself there before I get home and get one, the Clay Handwarmer Mugs are the greatest. Both of mine made the trip here safely and I’m currently enjoying a Darjeeling from India, brought by a colleague who went to Goa for Christmas Break. Also, check out the "Official Scranton Calligrapher", StoneFawx Studios webstore - she has a Scranton Icon Mug Collection (set to ship 2 April), 15oz mugs with many of Scranton's famous buildings on them. I just pre-ordered the Cultural Center one.
I hope you found something worthy in the first two sections of the story, where I scared myself recognizing I was on the go for exactly 12 full months, passed on a Camel Milk Smoothie, had my heart pulverized and energized by The United Arab Emirates, saw the top of the world, cried for hours and slept an entire day, stayed up almost all night laughing over s’mores on the beach chairs at wave edges, didn’t die Dune Bashing, saw Saudi Arabia, felt like Scheherazade, and am now feeling pretty relaxed here in my own poshy apartment in Doha with some really amazing friends, good stories, a really genuine smile, eyes that hide nothing anymore, and some soul-soothing memories I want to share with you in all my stories... and sometimes not recognizing myself in the ATM reflection because I have changed so much. I hope you recognize me in July when I see you for 10 days.
It took longer to get to this part to you as I had an extremely nasty ear infection, sinus infection, eye infection, which became a chest infection. Instead of feeling guilty taking a day off work, I actually did take a day - because wellness is a priority here. I got myself slowly to the American Hospital (x-rays, blood work, eye drops, antibiotic, super cute Iranian Pharmacist who strongly suggested I go right home because my eye was definitely worse looking than I thought it was, but I was naturally beautiful otherwise... oh, MEN here are something else!) I’m feeling much better after sleeping after work every day for a week, between Netflix stupidity. I did have dinner last weekend with great newbie work friends, some fun dancing, then 17 straight hours of sleep (which you’ve probably noticed I’ve not had much of lately). I spent a perfect night at St. Regis Beach for St. Patrick’s to watch my best Doha pal on stage, my teaching partner "Faraway Martin" in his Doha band "Last Call". He gave me the flowers the other day, and I cried putting them into the vase. Also, one shout out to another new friend for an updated list of “not-to-be-missed” Netflix so if I ever need to binge again, I have something decent.
(but where was he LAST week when I was sick... there’s a phrase in Urdu – oh, what language is this? I’ll explain later – the phrase is “kaam chor”: English equivalent, Lazy bones...)
So, Part 3 - I’m excited to share the final pieces of relaxing and keeping a low profile, but the more I tried to tell you, really there wasn't much to tell, it was mostly wellness thoughts. The dimensions of wellness are my new valued treasure - of a lifestyle I’ve come to understand, practice, and appreciate. Maybe it’s the franticness, goal setting, personal drive we put into the American Lifestyle? The trying to live up to expectations set by others? Not having confidence to live otherwise? I'm not sure. There’s personal drive here, but it’s at a different pace. Goal setting too, but it is different. I can’t quite describe it yet, but life here is just… well… different. A better different, for me.
Promise me you’ll stop right now and think how you’re doing on these:
Social Wellness – ease of connecting with others in the world
Emotional Wellness – ability to understand yourself and cope with life's challenges
Spiritual Wellness – establishing a peaceful harmony in your life, in whichever manner/method is most peaceful to you
Environmental Wellness – recognizing responsibility for the quality of the air, land, and water around you
Occupational Wellness – finding personal fulfillment in your chosen career and maintaining work/life balance
Intellectual Wellness – opening your mind to new ideas, learning new concepts, improve skills, seek challenges
Physical Wellness – maintaining a healthy quality of life, healthful habits, recognizing your outside behavior impacts your inside wellness
HEY, YOU, STOP AND REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE and there are people who can and will help you. I’m your trusted friend and you aren’t bothering me if you message me for help (even at over 10,000 miles and 8 time zones away I’m not far away from you).
You don’t have to deal, manage, or handle anything alone – so phone me, call a friend...
1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24-hour crisis center, or text MHA to 741741 at the Crisis Text Line.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-6264has office hours 10am-6pm...
Personal Disclosure: I came across these dimensions of wellness in an article about "The Problem With Universals" (more on that later next week). I freaked out when I took a look at these dimensions the first time and realized how “not yet well” I was. It took me some time (see: the entire 2017 Year of Adventuring) to figure out how to balance some of these and figure out WTF (sorry about the swearing, Mom), but WWTTAAFF was happening and how to get any type of grip on my version of the spiral of things and how to make it work.
I’m here for you – You cannot begin to imagine how much you were here for me and you still are. I hid it from you, or at least I think I tried to so you didn’t worry so much, but for those of you who sniffed it out – thanks for holding me up when I couldn’t hold myself up anymore.
So that.
There is much of the Qatari and ExPat Lifestyle that fits exactly what I want out of life as I’m working on self-love in self-protection mode. Team-building activities hosted by my employer (almost monthly) are beneficial to the occupational, intellectual, and social wellness of our teaching team. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know my colleagues inside and outside of work. I’ve made a commitment to reconnect with Yoga on a really neat tie-dye pattern mat I spent a fortune on at an athletic store here (but not as much as if I tried to have my own mat shipped or purchased one via Amazon.com). I use the crap one from the helipad yoga class for a weekly Yoga/Meditation class held at sea level, windless area, for a nice seated meditation and serious headspace work. With my workout neighbor buddy Mark, I have been enjoying Spin Class after my leg/foot/stress injury running (and also falling while doing the Biggest Loser Workout Poster at Planet Fitness, please do not ask me to explain that because I really don’t want to talk about it.) It was such a slow go getting back to a 5K without any foot pain here, I haven’t quit the running part of my journey – but I’m super glad Mark convinced me to Spin Class because while I love a "mental flat road" because you can see for miles, a "mental hill or two" never killed anyone either, and the "mental view" from the top is quite cool. Plus it helps to sort out what to do with the resistance life tosses your way. I’m working on a few projects here and it’s going well. Simply Existing, not fighting the waves, but enjoying the direction they push me.
I present the third attempt to explain relaxed:
Sukoon: (Urdu) (Yes, Urdu, what where? Oh, Pakistan, and other assorted places in India, Nepal, Bangladesh, and the Middle East)
Anyway:
Sukoon: (Urdu) Relaxed
Banana Island Images
Arrival Terminal Arches (Symmetry on point)
Hotel Accommodations (If you choose to stay, we just had day passes)
Beach Views (Want to chat about classroom management and scheduling options here? Yes, yep, me too.)
Our Banana Island #OneTeam event technically fell on 1 March but I don’t think it is fair that February is shorter than the other months on days to party. I’m tossing this team building activity into February, as it was the end of the week and the month as well. Consider an “employer discounted price offer” on a one-day trip to a Sandals Resort in the Caribbean, and you’ve got yourself Qatar’s Banana Island.
What you must know is that again I arrive at this epiphany experience with approximately 2 hours of sleep. I’m getting good at this, as that Netflix suggesting friend had been reminding me how time passes quickly in the wee hours of the morning with bone shaking, mind perplexing conversation that keeps me on my toes and questioning many of my long-held beliefs. I saw this episode before, I know how the story ends, and I’ve a Scrantonian porch full of memories with midnight cocktails, dogfriends, and being surprised by the sunrise from it ... now I’ve a Doha set of these memories - but back to work retreats and Banana Island, Bowling, and Spin Classes. (I understand now how Scheherazade worked her story magic...)
Banana Island is similar to any photo you’ve seen of the Dominican Republic resorts – pristine beachfront, comfy chairs with butler service, hotel/huts/villas, yacht rides, cool pools, unique food buffet, fancy restaurant, palm trees, garden walkway, Instagrammable photo backdrops, and a 30-minute speedboat ride away from the Corniche waterfront area. On 2 hours of sleep from the night before (I’m getting used to it), I am feeling weightless. Again ethereal. Vaporous. Almost out-of-body experience as I sit with my two craziest and most fun teaching pals on this little yachty type speed boat and set off for a 30-minute cruise over the Gulf to the resort area. The Lady in the Architecture of the Museum of Islamic Art winking at us as we leave the boat terminal, the Doha City Skyline passing us on the left, work jokes passing around, luxurious walnut stuffed date gifted treat offered by a hostess? Yes, thanks. To the whole experience.
Many people see the upper half-circle windows of the museum as the woman's eyes through her hijab - can you see them too? You can see this for many kilometers and it can be hauntingly beautiful, like the Lady in the Architecture always watching you, not creepy, but as a friend, always there for you.
If I understand correctly, Anantara is a Sanskrit word meaning "without end" - which is the hotel brand's perspective on freedom, movement, and harmony, among cultural traditions and natural beauty of the destination.
Remember those wellness dimensions? They become really important when you spend 90% of your time with the same people. Staff spend a great deal of work time together. About 70% of us live together in the same apartment building and ride a bus each morning to work together with our super-cool driver Saleem. While you think we could get sick of each other, being together so much actually helps us bond a bit more by sharing the work/life balance, teaching experiences, cooking, comedy, common spaces, the neighborhood groceries, cab fare – we all place parts of our whole experience into our own lives, making us better teachers, better thinkers, better learners, and better people. Are we sick of each other sometimes? Sure, but that’s life anywhere and that is where we rely on comedy and a good laugh on the bus ride home. Remember when Saleem, our favorite and trusted driver, was out for 6 weeks? Nothing like bonding over a replacement driver you all aren’t too crazy about, who nearly killed us all at the exact same light, at the exact same intersection, at the exact same turn, every single day for 6 weeks. By the end of the 6 weeks it was our joke, but honestly in six weeks you’d think that guy would eventually figure out that turn. But bonding – it happens, in many ways and it’s really cool to experience.
Very many staff and family participate in team building events. It is different here in the workplace, as family life here isn’t quite the same as the US. Many of us are single, or partnered teachers, no kids of our own or our families are back in home countries. We can gather outside of work and simply exist. “Simply Existing” has become one of my favorite things to do. Hard to describe from my perspective as someone who is “constantly on the go”, but at Banana Island it was the equivalent of sitting quietly with an "Aquarium" - a bag of fruit juices and mint (remember alcohol is limited here), all held together with a flimsy twist tie, sipped looking out over the ocean, with no phone, no email, no hassles, and nothing but a good laugh and chat among my colleagues. Sitting with my awesome boss over a lunch buffet to rival a Carnival Cruise Line New Year’s Eve Spread. I don’t think I looked at my phone for almost 9 hours in a row that day. People make an extra effort to get to know each other here because we all got off a plane at one point, walked through Immigration, picked up our suitcase and came to this school. I remember in my interview when the Head of School asked me about going from being the only music teacher to working on a pretty talented team, my answer of I CANNOT WAIT to be part of a team again blurted out of me so fast, I think I shocked him and I maybe even shocked myself.
Aquarium Drink. Flimsy Twist Tie. Paper Straw. Blissful.
Knowing how the parts of a machine work is essential for producing anything. Team building events let us hang out and share freely. What are your interests and do we share any? Travel expectations? Cuisine? Weekend hobbies. Are you a good bowler? (I am not). Can you swim? (I am getting good at distance). Books you’re reading now (Girl from Everywhere). Interests of your kids, family, and things from your life from before Qatar. What’s one craziest travel experience (explaining my bagpipe chanter to TSA in Heathrow). Greatest memory of you being in the classroom as a student (12th grade calculus teacher forgetting to take off the size sticker from his pant leg and everyone coming up with assorted answers of 34x30 to morning work). Weirdest question a student ever asked you during a lesson (Can you ask Siri how long a bassoon is in inches?).
The fact that I not-on-purpose achieved a worse bowling score than a 5th grader using bumpers only added to the excitement of the day. My bowling squad was a best newbie teaching pal who makes me laugh so very much and our catch phrase “I cannot co-exist with you” really held up as the rest of the bowling squad became my cool, quirky, and super awesome principal and his 5thgrade daughter – and a really decent wager existed between me and her - and I did not want to lose - but it happened. Maybe because I was exhausted, but I am a really bad bowler even on a full night of sleep, I now owe her a Papa John’s pizza, and I am glad to oblige.
Check out the wind pushing these Palm Trees.... so we headed for a table under this "peculiar looking hut" of a fancy restaurant. Symmetry at this resort was on point.
After our game and a fantastic lunch buffet spread, I tried for a beach nap, but there is too much life to see here to spend time sleeping. It was a beautiful, sunny and warm, job-affirming, wellness-enhancing, quiet, and calm day... until the wind picked up like an incoming tropical storm and sand became like a knife blade in the wind, so my two craziest newbie teaching pals and I found ourselves secluded from the wind at a table under that peculiar hut, enjoying a bit of shisha (not quite so nauseated anymore from the Dubai experience), talking of travel and summer trip experiences, classroom management strategies, having some tea, and watching a more consistent amount of gusting intensity wind which turned the palm trees over and made the Arabian Gulf wavy and choppy -- aaaaand then we all remembered the 30-minute return cruise over the now two red flag marine warning in the Gulf waters on a cute little yachty type speed boat...
Nothing like continuing your team building inside of a cute little yachty type speed boat as it pounces and glides, airborne, Doha Skyline to our right hidden in the pelting rain and fog, BUT WE ARE REALLY ON THE TOP of larger crests of choppy waves you guys, thinking we may just skip over the rest of life and DIE IN THE WIND AND PELTING RAIN ON THE WAY BACK ON THIS THING. (Forget the stuffed dates, where’s the lifejackets?)
As we bounced and swerved, considering in our communal silence how many of us would be late for work on Sunday if the boat didn’t make it back to shore, and who would be the one to apologize to the Head of School about it, I was reminded of the life lessons I reconnected to in Yoga and some new lessons arriving from these Spinning Classes : adding and releasing tension and control (not my fault if the boat tips in the wind so why worry), find a flat road (or calm sea), get ready for a climb (over the other passengers if we sink), push through resistance (of driving wind and pelting rain), hovering (over waves crashing onto the boat windows), holding yourself up (or in your yacht seat so you don’t knock into your best craziest teaching pal)...
I came home completely relaxed from all of February - but on 38 hours with 2 hours of sleep somewhere in between, I set an alarm for a nap before Salsa Dance Night with some non-teaching friends – person always on the go - but in my exhaustion I shut the alarm off in my sleep, woke up 5 hours later to 3 missed calls and 7 messages of “where are you, did you drown on the way back from Banana Island in that storm, we are looking for you, are you ok?” etc. etc. etc.
It was comforting to me (and I’m sure my parents) to know that if I did disappear here or was not where or when I said I would be, there would be at least 4 people looking for me, and that’s a sign of true friendship. In a strong ExPat community, nobody stands alone and we look out for each other.
To which I conclude my verbose three-part series on Becoming A Relaxed Person:
Get moving. Take a step up and over. Start pedaling. Let’s Ride.
Breathe, breathe, breathe, don’t stop breathing.
You’re not alone on your journey, there’s other travelers and if you want company, find it, if you don’t, then don’t.
Stop talking so much. Sitting in silence is sometimes more impressive than words.
Luggage Storage exists for a reason to store your luggage. So put your baggage down and move without it for awhile, you don't have to carry everything everywhere.
Climb the highest (thing) and stay quiet when you get to the top.
Cry. Laugh. Sleep (or don’t). Eat (or don’t). Stay hydrated though. Move.
Keep moving.
Download offline Google Maps.
Wherever you go, you have to take yourself with you.
Sleep on the beach in February, wear your coat, and bring another set of socks.
Look for hidden treasures as you seek new lands and adventure.
Find your flat road, the one you can maintain speed and pace for hours.
Look at your world from another perspective.
It’s not about distance or speed, it’s about the pushback you give to resistance.
Which hill are you going to die on? Pick one, and ride it through.
In the end, everything will be ok - and if it's not ok, it's not the end.
I remind you - especially after this week of so much love being returned to me by people from home and people here - you can have any life you want to have. When you’re ready, you’ll have the courage to have it or go for it, and you won’t be ready until you’re ready. I wasn’t ready until one moment in 2017 when I saw it so very clearly and experienced that readiness moment and no turning back.
There’s no timeline for any of this, just your amount of "frequent flier miles", your own "pedaling pace", and as far as you can stretch on the "yoga mat of life", the time it takes for you to get yourself to the place you need to be, to be ready to have any type of life you want, it's all you. Life is a lonely thing unless you're doing something productive about it.
Thanks for reading. I’m going today to The Pearl today to see my Doha Skyline and ponder some next steps, not overthinking anything but being excited for the adventure. Spring Break, Summer Travel Plans, Qatar adventures with some kickin’ friends, missing some who have left, and being grateful for this amazing thing I have... life.
I'll have another story for you in a few days... like Scheherazade captivated her listeners, I know you'll want to hear this one too.
Write me...
I love you, my friends.
Slainte.