The One Postcard I Cannot Send
(Hi.)
I feel have spent the last 5 years of my life on a holiday.
And I very well may have been on one.
A vacation from a series of events that no longer feel tragic to me but the gifted pathway to the journey I was meant to be on all along.
I remember making a late-April 2010 phone call to my brother and he peacefully said, "It will be ok, it will work out." (Mom's key phrase).
I remember making a late-April 2013 phone call to my parents and the only thing I could think to say was, "This journey has ended."
Life really is a journey, made of inimitable moments and events.
Recently I have felt an anxiety, a longing to escape, this prickling notion of being pushed forward, a "This Is Not It" instinct.
While snakes shed skin as they grow and crustaceans crack shells, technology is getting smaller by the terabyte size while doing more with its resources.
So I share you this, on my 25th April, a quote from SoulCycle. "You will be enough when you've had enough."
When you've had enough rage.
Enough explaining. Enough force. Enough indifference. Enough agitation.
Enough isolation.
I've had enough.
One day, I had enough of that but the journey led me here.
I'm at enough again, ready for something else.
On the 10th anniversary of my 25th April, I wish you peace.
I wish you understanding. I wish you ease. I wish you compassion. I wish you respect.
I wish you community.
I wish you adventure and I wish you to find it.
I wish you Ed Sheeran <Dancing With My Eyes Closed>.
Thriving Ivory <Flowers For A Ghost>.
What I would tell that girl, standing there 10 years ago, in a sterile hospice, ears buzzing, windows open, completely in shock, are these Moroccan Proverbs:
"Do not cut the valley until its stones appear, do not walk at night until it is day, and do not accompany a friend until you know his news. Don't cross the river until you see a clear path, don't walk at night until you see the light, and don't befriend someone until you learn more about them."
I hold up my gratitude for my 5 years in Qatar as a beacon for the one person out there at the start or midway or completion of any journey. I see you, traveler. I know you're out there.
"It will be ok. It will work out".
To James, as I know in my heart he landed safely on a trip we all hope to take one day.
And to you, dear reader, a safe journey also...
"Safar Saïd"
Sláinte.
April 25th is such a memorable day, there's a bridge in Lisbon, Portugal over the Tagus River renamed this date, commemorating the end of the Carnation Revolution, The Portuguese Colonial War and the transition to democracy.
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