I forgot I had a Blog...

Well, I didn't forget, but I ran out of things to say after the Rope Weaver Fairy Tale which summed up my entire thoughts on life.

Wings, GAAQ Student Artwork

Tonight that Rope Weaver is on his way back to his home country and I'm recognizing all things come in peace, in time, and with purpose... and peace has both a time and a purpose.

I'm starting a TWO WEEK holiday from work (I keep telling you come and work with me...) for the end of Ramadan and Eid al-Fitr. Tonight's holiday-goal was to sit and watch something on Netflix without falling asleep.

I'm also on my third, two-finger pour glass of Edinburgh Gin. A strong juniper tasting concoction I found at the one store in the entire country that sells alcohol and pork products. I'm a fan of the Gin.

I'm watching Pagglait, an Indian movie about a progressive minded Indian woman who becomes a widow after a short time of marriage. Spoiler Alerts, if you do decide to watch it.

The movie centers on Sandhya as her arranged marriage husband Astik dies after five months of marriage. Sandhya is left to figure out who was the man she married and why he chose her for marriage. She doesn't know much about him, or herself, and spends her first 13 days as a widow sorting that out.

Her family thinks she's gone crazy.

Sandhya knows that if you don't make your own decisions about your own life, you do go crazy.

She learns he likes the color blue and that's why he never wore the brown floral shirt she purchased for his birthday. How could she know he liked blue if he never said anything? She learns more about him through his family and his friends and his workplace than she did from being with him. She discovers his college girlfriend and she finds a 5 million rupee insurance policy in her name only. She learns he has become a different man since marrying her. Sandhya learns from Astik's college friends what he was interested in and his curiosities.

She learns her own favorite color is blue. She uses the independence she finds in her Master Degree in English to start again.

To Start Again.

The Mouth of the Cannon, Soul Wakif

Every day in Qatar I am reminded that this was my chance to start again and I'm not going to mess this up.

According to the movie, it takes 13 days for a Hindi soul to reach Heaven.

What comfort it must be to know that it only takes 13 days to reach Heaven.

It's 8 years and I'm wondering if he made it or not.

We made a promise to each other to send signs. We didn't know how life and death worked.

He'd do whatever was allowed on his side to let me know he was ok and I'd do my best to let him know on my side I was living my best life.

I see signs from Himself in the little things:

like every day when the setting sun shines through my patio and it is my favorite lavender color.

like every day when a small voice in my mind reminds me of my strength.

like finding Qatar, the people here, the adventure, the growth, the losses, the friendships, the love.

The movie tells us life is either a sunbeam or the darkness and on the 13th day after death our soul journeys forward, "Tell him that we arranged water and food for him. We pray to The Lord that he may hold you close. We set you free."

What I have learned in these eight years as a widow is that life is a current and it flows. It is our choice how we navigate the flow. Sometimes we swim, sometimes we need a boat, sometimes we have a friend to snorkel, sometimes we get out of the water and wait for the water to pass.

Sometimes we meet a friend who takes our hand and says,"Which pizza do you want?"

I stand on my own two feet, as Sandhya did.

The same 13 days which took her to a new life took me a bit longer, but I did it.

She leaves it all and goes ahead.

Whether we eat pizza alone or with others is our choice to make.

Happiness is dependent upon us alone.

So, be happy.

Do what you need, and know that the angels and souls will show you the way if you're open to seeing it.

It isn't my place to judge cultures, norms, or values.

It is my place to respect the story and know where those things fit.

This is the first Indian movie I recommend.

To peace, and love, and strength.

To health, friendship, and second chances.

To the beach and to phone chargers.

To pizza.

To life.

Let your wishes be fulfilled.

Slainte.