... I'm Staying on the globe
Gems American Academy, Qatar - School Majlis
18 December 2019, Qatar National Day
I'm sure you figured this out already.
I'm staying in Qatar a third year...
...but staying on the globe longer.
Why?
I believe in taking the high road.
36,000 feet high. (Wink.)
Fred's Favorite Photo Spot at Hamad Airport, with Lamp Bear in the background,
representing traveling back in time, or memory - a place we have been to and often return, and
the coming of age. Memory is not just "the past" but a way to remember our lives.
For me, my Fred is nostalgia.
Going to Kuwait for Thanksgiving, I booked a window seat so I could look out and decide what to do: return to the US or stay?
As I flew over Doha, I cried because someday I'd have to lookat the skyline,
beaches, and architecture one final time...
... I took my emotions to mean it's not time for me to go. I'm not ready to leave some of this, just yet.
Being "here" has helped me devise 3 life categories:
1. Things I'm not willing to ever give up.
2. Things I'm willing to compromise on.
3. Things I'm willing to give up forever.
It took leaving "there" to understand the apocalypse I was feeling. Leaving everything (except what you take out in an apocalypse) cleared my vision.
Decisions I will defend.
Decisions to which I agree.
Decisions I release.
My experience is different because I want to be "here". I have a place to which I can return.
I've met many people who have no place to return due to war, politics, or just life.
People who have to be here for work or family need.
My good friend The Actor (anonymity!) in relating a story about how I wound up with that origami crane, presented that "here" is some greater moment in time, ours is an unparalleled existence, desirable and occasionally envied. We all just wish to exist - some in a rock-star experience and others for what it can be or is - and sometimes it's not easy, but life is desirable.
Actor's thoughts need further pondering, but yes... "here" is a bigger experience than imaginable.
Moving across the globe?
Leaving it all behind?
Simply wanting a better day?
Big things.
Accepting what life is and being brave about yours?
Desirable.
Other desirable things about "here":
Dinner tables, their locations, the food we eat, and conversations by the people at them.
The Park Laners, Christmas 2019
Erin, Jacquia, Joe, Quita, Kevin, Niamh, Rachel, Michelle
Samran, Me, Hashem, Jaimee
(and about 30 more)
People - great ones and not so great ones (they are here) - and the journey we carve as we work (yes we work here).
Every take away order arrives with two packets of ketchup - even when not required for the cuisine. Pad thai? 2 Ketchup. Sushi? 2 Ketchup. Harissa? Biryani? Machboos? Something printed in Arabic off a Turkish menu? Anything Za'atar?
2 Ketchup. 2 Ketchup. 2 Ketchup.
I don't order out as much as this looks, but seriously, 2 packets.
My staff lanyard. The opportunity to become part of something larger by stepping into that building onto this team. I feel more pride here than anywhere else. Respect I've earned for my tenacity and respect which is consistently returned to others.
In January, we welcomed a mid-year new hire. You want to talk about authentic camaraderie? Team rally? The resources, friendship, humor, and welcoming for someone who wished to be part of this experience, our experience, continues to make me a better, more-giving person.
Zach_Neighbor and Hashem (no anonymity here, you need to know some of them) gave me a GAAQ Raptor decal and I couldn't imagine anything else I wanted to represent my career. My entire career in one sticker. When our staff shirts finally arrived (15 months after our arrival) I stood there holding it like a magical, fairy-tale, golden, woven fabric.
In any difficult moment, I look up to at least 8 familiar faces willing to defend, assist, comfort me, call me out on my BS, or talk me through. Not just at work, but at home, and in my life.
So, I'm staying.
Anse Possession, Seychelles
I may not know where I'm going after this, but I know where I'm not going. Knowing what you don't want is all you need to start your adventure. The globe is making me a better person, a better teacher, a kinder soul, and offering me some exciting challenges (like travel vaccines and crazy viruses...).
My decision exiting the metro one night, dressed like my bitmoji, was "where to get travel vaccines" for a trip with Aladdin. If I want "This Life", I better get on it.
Monday, clinic with a doctor.
Yellow Fever. Typhus. Hepatitis A/B Vaccines.
Tuesday, sick day - I was so strung out on antibodies I was shaking. I couldn't walk or see straight (that is another story).
Wednesday, an emotional moment grasping that I did it. "The Thing". "The Life".
October 2018 (Italy) July 2019 (Ireland) December 2019 (Poland)
Fred was in the bag...
"Maybe we stop worrying for just a minute. Maybe we start living life the moment we're in it. Maybe we stop looking for a finish line. Maybe were not perfect and that's alright."
I saw him while in Dublin and it was amazing.
I still have trouble recognizing this is me. Really me.
When you're a little bit broken and you find something that fills the cracks, you don't feel or look broken anymore. You become "fixed" - new parts filling in what was lost in the break. You have a different finish. This finish may not be for everyone, but it is for me.
Doha Corniche. Doha, City Center. Kuwait, Waterfront
I defend who I am and the life I lead. I accept the things I cannot change about myself and the life I have been gifted. I let go of people, places, and ideas that are not mine to have and I bind to the things I have because of the beautifulness of this life.
I was able to do this because I came "here".
Well, not exactly Zekreet, Qatar, but you get it.
"I wanna taste love and pain, wanna feel pride and shame Don't wanna take my time, don't wanna waste one line Wanna live better days, never look back and say Could have been me..."
~ The Struts, Could Have Been Me
So, if you're looking, you know where to find me...
The marina, on a yacht with The Captain.
A coffee with my neighbor, The Doctor.
Flirting hopelessly and hilariously with Crocodile Dundee.
Rooftop cocktails and city view, laughing with GQ, as he hits me up for my friend's numbers and adjusts that watch.
In a moment of incredible friendship with my Silent Partner.
A flight delay message from The Pilot while in Duty Free.
Dancing at Ladies Night with some really great women.
Actually at work, working and researching.
(I do work here, I promise you.)
Something ridiculous, comical, cosmic, with an air of life on the edge, and a heart full of gratitude with The Park Laners. #wewillalwayshaveParkLane #ILivedInParkLane
Random nights in random places with 4 amazing, life-long friends from different countries because I'm one really lucky girl when it comes to the "Toro Toro Film Society".
... and on a flying carpet, on the beach, in a coffee shop, or on a nice walk, in a whole new world with My dearest and loveliest Aladdin. (He's incredible.)
The end of my apocalypse came at Al Balagh Street. My Doha home for the first two years. I love the metro taxi icon.
"Life is not something to be watched with a pizza while having a chat." ~ Hashem
I miss you and my family so much I can't breathe some days. It's difficult and I don't want to talk about that.
The worst part is the nostalgia - for a time that cannot be again. A time that was great, but is now ended.
You're gonna need a passport.
I don't know where we're all going next but I guarantee you'll need travel vaccines.
Thanks for your love and for being here, through it all, from the start.
It means a lot that you're still along.
See you at the gate. Plane is on time.
Slainte.
Gems American Academy Qatar Atrium
Lucifer: Do you think I'm different when I'm at work then when I'm not?
Chloe: I think we're all a little different at work, trying to put our best foot forward.
Lucifer: Do you think the person I'm trying to be at work is dishonest?
Chloe: Do you like work?
Lucifer: I like work very much, it makes me want to be a better "man", but, if I've never been that man before then is it even real?
Chloe: I think people are growing and changing all the time. Look at me, 15 years ago I never would have pictured myself as a person like this, but it just feels right... so I think, if what you're doing and who you are at work feels right, then you know it's real.
Lucifer, Season 4: Ep. 4