New Year Resolution
The Pearl: Marina - the Arabic writing is "Qatar"
Happy New Year!
I cannot believe it has been two months since I've written you. I have very much to say and very much to tell you, but I'm saving it for later.
I want to tell you about my New Year's Resolution.
Doha: New Years 2020 : The Backyard: Sheraton Hotel
"Sometimes you just have to let everything fall apart." ~ Pema Chödrön
That's it.
Easy.
But a long time coming.
August 14, 2003... I was standing in a metro stop in Georgetown, before "piano side seats" to Harry Connick Jr. performing his Marsalis Music label, instrumental jazz album, "Other Hours". (really amazing stuff!)
Side Note: He can reach over an octave and a half under his left hand only. Swooning. Still am swooning.
An amazing show, never will forget it: (1) A few blocks from the theater, I thought I recognized him in jeans and a t-shirt and backwards baseball cap coming toward me on the street with a milkshake take-away cup, and as he got closer I fan-girl blurted out, "HARRY!?!??"
He stopped, stunned, humbled, laughing, and we talked in a crosswalk for a few minutes, shocked the heck out of the both of us... and I asked him to sign my CD (always carry a sharpie in your handbag), (2) I legit sat behind him (one foot away) at the piano bench for a Harry-Eyed-View of the piano all night, where HE TURNED AROUND to (me) in the seat right behind the piano bench after he sat down and said, "Pardon the fact tha-- oh wait! It's you!" BECAUSE WE WERE BFFFFFs... WE MET in the crosswalk hours before, and (3) it was a day that I started my #happinessisamindset kick.
In my early 20's, I was terribly unhappy with my life, job, lifestyle, health... My family was the only thing that brought me joy. (Sometimes, they still are. I'm blessed.)
I didn't realize how unhappy until the moment I saw this equally-as-unforgettable-as-meeting-HCJ-woman in the station.
Curvy, my height, just-past-shoulders black hair curled at the end that lightly danced as she practically floated through the station in her black
business dress, flats, black city-dweller bag, with the poise of a vintage movie star.
I continued to watch her go by and all I could think was, "I could be that woman if I could ever be happy again. I want to be her and I don't even know who she is! Is it that I want to be a person I don't even know - or I don't know the person I want to be?"
The moment I wished to be happy again and promised myself I'd do anything I needed to be happy, be vivacious, confident, be "that woman", was the moment I got caught gazing at her by my then-boyfriend. Positive thoughts only here, but it wasn't a good moment for him or me.
A day never forgotten. Until now, kept to myself.
A decade later, August 2013. I bought this book because my unhappiness reached a breaking point. #widowthoughts
Me: on the metro. With the book.
It has taken me almost 7 years to read. I've tried at least a dozen times but quit after one page. I've cleaned and dusted around it. I packed it to Qatar.
I finally started it. It has refocused everything.
In today's readings I realized how happy I am now -- because happiness is situational. Happiness is impacted by many factors. Happiness exists. You just have to want it badly enough to make the want of it greater than the want of something else.
Me, with my Parents, the day before I returned to Qatar after Christmas Break.
As curvy me stepped up to the Doha Metro today, having missed the 16:25 train (for the second day in a row...) with my commuter backpack, in black dress and flats, curly black shoulder length hair (in a bun), I looked in the reflection of the glass thinking - "That Georgetown woman has always been with me. The vision always carried me through.... because I've been that woman all along."
It's taken me 7 years to read this book.
It's taken me almost 13 years to recognize happiness has always been inside me.
It's inside you too, you know. You just have to want it more than you want to be unhappy.
While I won't spoil this book for you, or more of my stories for later -
I will tell you these things:
-- Don't miss the happy things all around you.
-- Connect with the world outside of your digital mindset.
-- Read. Ask Questions. Think.
-- Take time to "die with every breath".
"Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don't get caught and we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit." ~ Pema Chodron.
I'll write you more soon. (newsflash: big stuff)
Until then, here's some crazy photos from bitter-cold-winter-break-in-Warsaw, but a cute apartment with a great view of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier park and the lovely beach in Sopot.
Life Awaits You.
Be Happy.
Happy New Year.
Slainte.
Sopot, a town on the Baltic Sea, Northern Poland. It's colder than it looks. Happened to catch the only rays of sun there that day.
Krzywy Domek : Crooked House (no filter used). Sopot, Main Street Monte Cassino.
Decided against a coffee here. I didn't need an Alice in Wonderland "Drink Me" Moment but it was really neat to see in person!
Sopot, Poland, looking back inland, from the top of the Lighthouse!
Sopot: Pier, the longest wooden pier in Europe, 511.5 meters,
The Bay of Gdansk, and the beach.
Royal Castle Grounds: Warsaw. The castle is closed to the public on Mondays. This is Monday, and my luck. Great photo!
Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Warsaw (ironically, the only structure to survive Nazi attack).
Saxon Garden/Park and Saxon Fountain
Food!
Chopin's Heart is entombed in the wall. I went to mass here at The Church of the Holy Cross (in Polish).
Military Cathedral, Warsaw
Hand crafted paper ornaments and glass figurines. The ornaments are glass. The castle/churches are made from foil lined candy wrappers. Incredibly mesmerizing.
Mermaid of Warsaw. (Interesting legend and story).
See you again, Poland!