Part 1: The Dimensions of Relaxation

This sign was waiting for me at La Mer, a beachfront area filled with shops and restaurants

and exciting people watching locations! Yes, United Arab Emirates, I did make it.

'Tension is who you think you should be.

Relaxation is who you are.'

~ Chinese Proverb

Hello, Hi, How are you?

Me? I’m really really really well. I’m actually relaxed.

(I can hear my Dad laughing at this statement, but I actually am quite calm.)

I don’t think I’ve been this relaxed in more than 10 years. I’m so relaxed I think I will need three chances to tell you about three different ways I relaxed in February. (Sequel posts soon!)

February marked the 6-month mark for me here in Qatar, and as I looked at the photo of myself heading to a Swanky Social Doha party on Thursday night and reflected on these past 6 months, I saw that I am inside the first layers of what I promised you as I walked away and down the Jetway in Avoca – dedicated work on self-love and self-wellness. I am taking care of myself. My new neighbor and workout buddy Mark and I have jokingly termed 2019 as “Self-Preservation Mode” - but it’s not meant to be mean, exclusionary, reclusive, or negative sounding. It’s more a year to stop, reflect, and decide what is working and what needs a mindful tune-up, because just as in Yoga, you can’t really focus on anything other than trying to balance on your big toe when you're at that point in the class, you can’t think about anything except not falling of the bike pedaling in a Spin Class either. The Head of School calls it a stop-start-continue chart. What do you need to stop – what do you wish to start – what do you want to continue.

I want to continue this self-love process because I didn't realize how fabulous I really am looking these days! (Revenge Skinny was always the best skinny, right?)

This week I’m relaxed because my beloved personal work driver Salem has returned, intact and quite as handsome as before, and was back to driving us all safely and smoothly (oh, the substitute driver was a real Paul Walker/Brian O’Conner on the Doha Expressway, creating quite a stressful daily commute on a narrow, 72-passenger staff bus, drifted like a hatchback Kia Rio, and always at the same turn slamming on the brakes...). Regardless of the return of My Driver Man, I am mostly relaxed because I just went with whatever came up this month. I was just talking to a friend tonight about how he doesn’t like to be scheduled – he would rather have fluid weeks. His statement made me realize how I indirectly crave structure as my February has been : One Weekly Spin Class, Two Group Yoga and One Home Yoga. Thursday Happy Hour. Friday lesson plan, emails, assorted work tasks, laundry, and grocery. Friday night social event. Saturday sleep, cook, lesson plan. Sunday, piano club, mass, and a Netflix. Maybe I am too scheduled, but I find time for spontaneity. In my Self-Preservation Mode, I quit having expectations for anyone or anything except myself. Oh, you ask me, that’s different than how I’ve been living life these last 3 years? A bit but not at all, as I continued to say yes to everything I could manage to fit into the weekly schedule in Qatar, I still managed to get back to Yoga regularly and take up Spin Classes, sleep on a beach and point to Saudi Arabia from the top of a Sand Dune like a kid in a candy shop... and I still took a perfect holiday during the Term Break to my dream location – Abu Dhabi and Dubai, The United Arab Emirates.

There are dimensions of wellness, did you know that? I learned about it this academic year. I look forward to discussing these dimensions specifically later because I know you’re more interested in what I’ve been up to and the surrounding gossip – but I will tell you that physically, intellectually, occupationally, and emotionally, I’m really well. I almost don’t recognize myself. Especially when I look at some of the photos of me around the world these last 6 months, smiling like a big goof... and the one of me in the dress for Thursday’s Happy Hour? Tossed me for a loop. Who dat? It me... Thanks, workout buddy. You’re fabulous.

ExPat life looks good on me, and I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

I am sure it is going to take me three stories to tell you about how things have been going here. I am going to use three words I learned this month for “relaxed” and the 3 relaxing situations I found a use for them.

Arabic: Hayde (relaxed)

Arabic: Mustarih (She was relaxed)

Urdu (yes, Urdu…) : Sukoon (relaxed)

Here we go.

You will need a pen for all this because this was just February 2019. If I tried to explain how this has been a typical active and social schedule for every month here for the last 6 months, I hope you believe me. February consisted of a “Paint Night”-style activity for an Animal Rescue here, dinner at an Indian restaurant (no clue what I ate but it was really great), finding my way back to a regular yoga practice, SPIN CLASSES, “The UAE Experience”, Dancing at Society Lounge on a very special Valentine’s Day on a date with the City I love, a vocal conducting and rehearsal workshop with choral conductor Greg Beardsell (what a voice!), a Biryani Festival (no clue what I ate but this time it didn’t exactly agree with me), an overnight desert safari trip with 3 amazing new non-work friends - that turned into a work trip by accident because Qatar is as large as Connecticut and you’re bound to run into someone (or a dozen someone) you know around a campfire, a first performance for me ever at an open mic night, and a return to the glamorous Mondrian Hotel location. My first social event 5 days after I arrived in August was at The Mondrian and that August evening sparked my social scene and opened social doors I am so grateful to walk through weekly.

Busy? Indeed.

Relaxed? For sure.

Kite Beach : UAE

This adventure looks good on me. .

Situation One:

Hayde: (Arabic) Relaxed

I traveled to the United Arab Emirates. What you must know is that I have anticipated a holiday here for at least 15 years – potentially longer than that, as Garfield was always sending Nermal The World’s Cutest Kitten to Abu Dhabi and I wondered what it was like there. After staying up very late Wednesday night 6 February with a new friend listening to my pal Martin play at a rooftop bar with a city view of Doha that rivals most any other skyline you’ll see (staying up was an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything and I’m currently not up for trading the Doha Skyline view either), I worked 7 February and flew that overnight in one-hour flight segments to The Emirates. I was unable to fly directly there in one 45-minute flight due to regional differences among some of the Gulf Countries here, so I had to fly with a layover through Kuwait City, which has a beautiful waterfront skyline as well! And hey, I was in Kuwait! This being said, here’s another Casey Travel Tip : I considered the airplane travel direction to figure out how to window seat myself so I might catch a glimpse of the Gulf Region Seaside, lit at night. Doha, Bahrain, Kuwait City on the left side of the plane, flight one. Kuwait City, Bahrain, Doha, Abu Dhabi, Dubai, flight two.

I arrived in Dubai at 4:20am, went through Immigration, picked up my haqibat zahar (Arabic: knapsack), grabbed two hot teas from the airport shoppe, and went right to the beach to see my Burj Al Arab, the sailboat building. I arrived on the beach at 5:20am and sat in the windy morning air with some other sleepless folk to collect my thoughts. I couldn’t believe I was actually in The United Arab Emirates. Like, DUBAI. My 22-year-old self rejoicing as I drew shapes with my toes into the wet sand. The water was freezing. The wind was blowing. I didn’t care how cold I was, because I remembered the day Mrs. Ganser, my art teacher mentor, gave me the mounted, laminated, travel magazine photo of that Burj Al Arab sailboat building and how I became obsessed over getting my life together in some fashion to get to this exact beach. Glamorous, indeed. Surreal, most definitely and my mind was racing as I kept looking at my entire life from the outside perspective of me 3-5-10-15-20 years ago. I’m quite a different person now than I was at 20. I could only have hoped to have the personal freedom, career ability, and matana (Arabic: strength) to really live this type of life. I really believe that your life can flash in front of your eyes... mine did as I sat by this ship.

Shout out to my brother for the (non-vain, I get it now) gift of the Bluetooth Selfie Remote. :D I will cherish it as much as my scarf.

And my sailboat... oh, my boat!

After sunrise, I walked up the boardwalk to Kite Beach and had vegan blueberry pancakes and another tea. Remember, at this point I’m on less than 4 hours sleep over 30 hours… I’m not exactly tired, but I’m starting to feel suspended in time. I went to one of the largest mall buildings I’ve ever seen. Casey Travel Tip: most malls have luggage storage or locker rental, so you can store things, and The Mall of the Emirates had one. (checked ahead, so I stored my backpack and off I went) I purchased my travel journal, walked around for a bit, had lunch, and met my inspiring friend from home (European Biker/Man from the last post: standing at the top of the world). Checked into the rental apartment, got settled in, had dinner and a walk around the absolutely stunning beach front La Mer area, #mydubai, enjoyed a Turkish cuisine meal, and a nice night at a beach bar with some good conversation, an inspiring walk around the Marina in the wee hours of the morning, and now going on 44 hours with a scant 4 hours of sleep in between the adventure, I was ready for sleep.

The peaceful sleep that came that evening was the most relaxing I’ve had in 10 years. A tiny little bed in a 6th floor apartment in TeCom Dubai provided quite a haven for me that week. There was a deep release of control and focus on my part traipsing around the most techie city in the world, sans phone network or data access outside my apartment wifi. So, the deal was that my Qatari phone number was considered “invalid” and I couldn’t catch a network there (see: regional dispute). In order to access the “free wifi”, you needed a code sent via SMS, which you can’t receive if your phone cannot catch the network there. I had planned ahead (see: regional dispute) and called my US Carrier and indicated I would be there. They didn’t seem to remember I called them because my US phone number locked on Sunday and I had no network access there. Not-Casey-Travel-Tip : you can purchase a data sim card from a market vendor and use it for WiFi. Good to know.

The rest of the week was phoneless for the most part, but absolutely incredible. At one time I was freaking out about actually being there, I did stop in my tracks on a bridge somewhere over Oud Metha Road for a really cool photo - when it hit me that for the last 6 months, I haven’t stopped moving. I was also celebrating my one-year anniversary of signing my contract for here, and then I realized I have been on the go for 12 months. I was instantly tired. I panicked a bit when I curiously looked at my phone and saw I had walked 15km that day with nearly 45,000 steps and it wasn’t even 5pm. But if I didn’t get moving I was going to be late for mass.

Above: Actual site of the Casey Meltdown over Our Metha Road.

Below: Historic Village Photo Shoot via Bluetooth Selfie Remote,

photo edit via That Pilot Guy I Know For Real

Much revelation and relaxing happened as the week progressed. I was glad to have a journal to write in, scribble out, tear out, circle, copy and recopy underline, etc. My heart is opening to accept another step in the grief recovery process. A slow car ride to Al Ain and up the mountain to the Emirate border where you could see for miles and far past the horizon, a few bus rides between Dubai and Abu Dhabi, getting lost in Bur Dubai walking side streets and considering if a Camel Milk Smoothie was a good idea with no clue where a toilet might be if needed, haggling for a scarf and tea in the Diera Souk, having a flowering tea and Arabian sweets platter at a ritzy Tea House, getting shisha nauseous at the beach sitting on a beanbag chair overlooking “The World’s Largest Inflatable Waterpark” with an apple mango smoothie mocktail, having dinner next to the water show fountain at the Burj Khalifa (World’s Tallest Building), walking the marble flooring of the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi, seeing the image of the sky and minaret architecture in the reflecting pools there, and having one really good cry about all of life at the Abu Dhabi corniche marina next to the “Seventh Tallest Flagpole in the World at 123 meters high” (entire country of superlative degrees) before snapping it together Casey-style for a cocktail at Ray’s Bar overlooking the 8km waterfront manicured impressive Abu Dhabi corniche. I even attended dinner at a jazz club with an ExPat meet-up type group and made 5 new friends. I’ll stay with Carmen this summer as I pass through Spain on my way back to see you. Luis offered to meet for a glass of wine in Valencia. Greg offered a coffee when he returns to Qatar to inspect the railway construction. Life as an ExPat is pretty cool. You never know who you’re going to meet and how you’re going to meet them.

Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque, Abu Dhabi

It was ethereal to actually be in the Emirates. The sand was rusty colored over the usual white sands and a coarser grain than US East Coast beaches. I look forward to being able to visit there again. I’ll get a SIM card at the airport though, so navigation would be easier. Yet between the Oasis, the Dubai Mall Waterfall, Burj Khalifa tea, Al Ain peak, the walk on Sultan Bin Zayed The First Street, I can’t quite yet describe it, because it was different than any other city/country/town/mall/coffee shop/museum/apartment/holiday/beach than I’ve ever been before and I loved it. I loved the self-exploration, and the fact that some things have no words to describe them. They’re just feelings.

I was relaxed as I sat in the airport having a (beef) pepperoni pizza and gin and tonic before another set of one hour flight hops. I’m already planning a return trip, mapping out some adventures there to see the things I missed when I took one entire day and did nothing but sleep until almost 4:30pm.

Looking back over my shoulder at The Burj Khalifa, Burj Al Arab, The World Islands, Palm Jumeirah, and Palm Jebel Ali as the plane ascended, I felt a rush of energy out of my toes. That sign at La Mer was right : I made it... I spent a week in the Emirates... but I’ve spent 6 months in Qatar. My Qatar. I looked forward to seeing my love – my Doha, for a very special Valentine’s Night.

UAE: The World Islands, Google Maps shows the fuller image of a global map.

Part 2: I’ll tell you about the statement “She was relaxed, pointing to Saudi Arabia like a 5 year old in a candy shop, making s’mores with a bunch of best desert camping friends, trying not to freeze to death in a beach chair at the water’s edge having a serious life talk with guy I’ve come to appreciate quite a bit.”

See you soon, I promise.

Time for sleep.

Slainte.